So I went to a party today and I was there minding my own business own business and then I saw her. This girl with beautiful, long, relaxed hair. Then it hit me. A strong feeling of relaxer envy hit me from nowhere. And it hit be hard because I knew, I KNEW that if I had kept on relaxing my hair then it would be that length. So I started to think, what exactly was I envious of though? What about her hair was I missing? And I narrowed it down to a couple of things….
1) Length – My hair has always been long – ish. Even before I started my hair journey, my hair was shoulder length and used to fluctuate around that length, but I’ve always been able to do stuff with it. Curl it, tie it up, have it down
2) Freedom – With length comes freedom, freedom of style. You have more to play with and you can do a variety of things.
3) Ease – Because I’m used to relaxed hair i.e straight, I’ve always been used to ease of styling and maintenance. I’m used to rolling out of bed, running a comb through my hair and it looking good and I’m ready to go.
But thinking in detail about each of these reasons, I don’t think they are enough to make me want to relax.
SO………length: I’m impatient, I’ve had braids for almost 2 months as a protective style ( I will do a post about protective styling. Love. It.) and when I removed one of my braids and my hair has grown (I will post a progress pic soon), but I guess I need to develop patience and know that it will take some time for me to get to my previous length. Length alone is not reason enough for me to relax.
SO……….freedom, once I get my hair to a good length, I will have freedom of style. I think I’ll have more freedom and more variety with my natural hair, curly and straight, so freedom is not a reason to relax.
And lastly….ease, so I know I have my preconceptions about maintenance of curly hair. We’ve heard them all, it’s difficult, it takes time etc etc. So even though it might take a bit of time in the morning to get ready, and more planning than usual……and to be honest I’ve thought that too, but that could be that we aren’t used to taking care of our hair. For centuries we have been told our hair is difficult, we need relaxer to make it easier for us to manage, but maybe it’s difficult because we have never tried. So even though it might take a bit of time in the morning to get ready, and more planning than usual ease is not enough to convince me to relaxer.
The thing about relaxer is that its permanent. What you are doing is permanently breaking the bonds between the strands of your hair that make your hair curly, making it straight. Once you do it, its done. Your hair wont revert. With natural hair you can have it curly, or straight, you have options. Before you relax your hair think deeply and hard about the reasons why, and then evaluate if they are good enough reasons. If not, there’s no point.
Thinking it through, I haven’t come up with a good enough reason to revert back to relaxer. I’ve been there and done the relaxer thing, it’s always been there (and will always be there) so maybe it’s time to try something new, something different. Something that wont cause me to burn during the process, or cause my hair to be so fragile it breaks, or even cause hair loss on my hairline. If I want straight THAT bad, i could always get a weave, right?